life lately.

Today I am having an "on" mom day. It is ridiculously gorgeous outside and Noah and I took this day by storm.

Noah's first "ride", Danny the Dragon. Please excuse the yogurt he flung all over his face!

We had an amazing Easter weekend celebrating Kristina's birthday in Sonoma/Napa. I am loving looking at the pictures from our "real" camera that hasn't been dusted off in months (iPhone/Instagram killed my inner desire to learn to be a better photographer...one day). 

Me and the birthday girl.

These two. Too much!

I am wishing we had a neighborhood pool...a la Bridle Creek...for the summer. 

Come on, this bod is just dying for some pool time!

Sunny/warm weather makes me happy. I liked Colorado...it was pretty much HOT or COLD. I like each of these respectively. But the weird in-betweeny winters here in California are frustrating. I don't like jeans and sweaters...it makes me closterphobic (weird, since I don't mind donning fleeces, hats, mittens and puffy jackets). I like flowy dresses, skirts, shorts, tank tops. I just feel like I can MOVE and it is so refreshing to be getting a glimpse of summer in April.

Skirt blowing in the breeze. Also, Lola...miss her!

I am itching for a getaway. I drove past the airport today and wanted to go in, ask for cheapest flight to anywhere, and hop a plane for a spontaneous adventure. I thought Scott might be a little concerned for my sanity (and the safety of our son), so I kept driving...but I keep watching the sky thinking of our next adventure.

This would do. This would do just fine!

I am also itching for a stay-cation. Ok, a stay-night. There are two ways I could go with this (I'll order both, please). First, a night away with Scott, no baby. Just drinks, dinner, an in room movie, and some sleep in a bed that I don't have to make and a shower in a shower I don't have to clean! Second, me (only me), room service, in room movie, and sleep. Maybe a massage in the morning? One of my favorite parts about traveling for work (in my previous life) was my own little hotel vacation.


   Third (I'm adding one), family weekend in Napa? 

   Fourth...does anyone have any cash laying around they would like to send me for all of the above?

We did get away together for a whole day together, on a weekday! Giants opening day!

Bar Method Challenge. I am not sure I ever wrapped this up on the blog. I finished, I accomplished 20 classes in 28 days, I got my t-shirt & discount, and I crashed. Well, not right away. I kept up a normal routine for another week but then I was burnt out. I took a couple days off to recharge, spend time with my boys, and give my body a rest. It was a good decision. I am now ready to get back to the bar and tuck off the few extra glasses of sauv blanc that squeezed their way in during my rest!

The shirt.

Noah is a wild man. We are still working on managing his throwing and even giving him balls to throw as an appropriate alternative (to food, toys, phones, etc.) is becoming dangerous. He has an arm and zero aim. I can confidently say that he is ALL boy and is one really energetic, happy, and hilarious kid. 

This pretty much sums up my life these days. Love.

I made a decision against the better advisement of the AAP. I turned Noah's car seat forward. He meets the requirements for CA state law so we are going with it. We are both much happier car riders with the new change. 

Hello little face! He was craning his neck to look for trucks.

Ok, enough random information for one day. I need to go outside and catch up on my Vitamin D absorption.

Also, after reading this back, I have two things to add:
1. Sorry for all the caps and italics. Not sure why I got so carried away.
2. I really like my city and home...I feel like I talked a lot about wanting to leave it. Just always enjoy a little getaway!

frequent flyer

This makes me happy:

Yes, Noah now has a frequent flyer account. I am pretty sure his name is no secret but feel like I might as well take some privacy steps around here! 

We are excited to start accumulating some miles with the little guy in his very own seat!

the mom i am.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what "kind" of mom I am. This all started because I was thinking about the neighbor down the street who I would call the "experiential mom"...she know absolutely everything going on around town, all the best parks, and does crafts like she owns pinterest. I told her Noah loves trucks and she said, "you should take him to the walking bridge over 101 and watch all the trucks go by". DUH?! Why didn't I think of that. 

Better yet, I do think of these things occasionally. I think about taking Noah to just sit and watch a construction site while the "shucks" move dirt around. But I don't. I am not 100% sure why, but I am pretty sure it is because that sounds like an amazing idea for all of 5 minutes. And then, let's be honest, I'll start checking Facebook and Instagram while my boy stares at a back ho. 

It's selfish. Sometimes I am a selfish mom. Take today, I am tired from a weekend of self inflicted, wine induced, pain. Sometimes I make promises to be better tomorrow, and sometimes I'm not. 

But sometimes I rock the shit (sorry, mom) out of this parenting thing. Some days we get ourselves put together before 9:30am and hit the road for days of parks, friends, classes, lunches. Some days I literally catapult myself out of a chair at a restaurant because a helicopter is taking off at the hospital across the street and I'll be damned if my boy misses that event. Some days I will leave all the action so that I can read stories and snuggle my little to bed. Some days, I make Scott do it :-). 

Silly guy entertaining us all at Kristina's birthday. More pictures to come soon.

I have blogged about balance before. I am not sure that there is a right answer in this parenting game. There are about a million articles out right now about "mommy guilt" and "doing it all". I have decided that the kind of mom I am is the one who does what works on that particular day. Depending on the day, that might mean watching Noah play in his Little Tikes car from the couch, and some days it might mean having a Little Tikes high speed derby across the house. 

I probably clean too much, and run too many errands when there are bulldozers to watch. But, if I dropped all of that, I would feel off balance and stressed out. So while I read blogs of people making incredible memories and taking their kids on incredible adventures, you might find me scrubbing avocado off the floor because walking by that little green pile even one more time could make me scream (note: I should get a dog...floor cleaning solved). And, let's be honest, these ladies are also ridiculous writers and photographers who can make a trip to the pet store seem like an amusement park.

I might not be present every single moment in Noah's life. I have guilt about this sometimes. About checking my Facebook when I should be giggling with him while he explores the rock pile for the millionth time. But, I'll tell you this, when we hit our stride, we are unstoppable. 

I must have thought about what I was going to put in his Easter basket for two weeks. I wanted it to be perfect.

It is a bit like exercise, this whole parenting thing. On the days where I commit and make a really great day, I get the "mommy high" and have a renewed energy for a repeat. But, when I get in a rut and focus too long on the to-do list and not enough on the smiling little boy at my knees, I feel, well, blah. 

Today I feel blah. I don't feel like a "bad mom". I feel like I need to do better tomorrow, yet I know that Noah is not keeping  score. It is my own personal scoreboard that is haunting me. And, you know what, I actually don't think it is such a bad thing. I like that little reminder that there are days we blow the "blahs" right out of the ballpark and days where they get the best of us. 

The really unfortunate scene at our house at noon today. In all reality, he was really happy in that truck driving around.

I am not really sure of the final message here. Just that I am working on embracing the "mom I am" and trying to infuse a few more "run like there is someone chasing me to see the man change the street lights because he has a really cool bucket truck" moments into it. They make me happy, they make Noah happy. 

Who knows, maybe we'll even find that construction site some day. Maybe.