Better yet, I do think of these things occasionally. I think about taking Noah to just sit and watch a construction site while the "shucks" move dirt around. But I don't. I am not 100% sure why, but I am pretty sure it is because that sounds like an amazing idea for all of 5 minutes. And then, let's be honest, I'll start checking Facebook and Instagram while my boy stares at a back ho.
It's selfish. Sometimes I am a selfish mom. Take today, I am tired from a weekend of self inflicted, wine induced, pain. Sometimes I make promises to be better tomorrow, and sometimes I'm not.
But sometimes I rock the shit (sorry, mom) out of this parenting thing. Some days we get ourselves put together before 9:30am and hit the road for days of parks, friends, classes, lunches. Some days I literally catapult myself out of a chair at a restaurant because a helicopter is taking off at the hospital across the street and I'll be damned if my boy misses that event. Some days I will leave all the action so that I can read stories and snuggle my little to bed. Some days, I make Scott do it :-).
|Silly guy entertaining us all at Kristina's birthday. More pictures to come soon.|
I probably clean too much, and run too many errands when there are bulldozers to watch. But, if I dropped all of that, I would feel off balance and stressed out. So while I read blogs of people making incredible memories and taking their kids on incredible adventures, you might find me scrubbing avocado off the floor because walking by that little green pile even one more time could make me scream (note: I should get a dog...floor cleaning solved). And, let's be honest, these ladies are also ridiculous writers and photographers who can make a trip to the pet store seem like an amusement park.
I might not be present every single moment in Noah's life. I have guilt about this sometimes. About checking my Facebook when I should be giggling with him while he explores the rock pile for the millionth time. But, I'll tell you this, when we hit our stride, we are unstoppable.
|I must have thought about what I was going to put in his Easter basket for two weeks. I wanted it to be perfect.|
Today I feel blah. I don't feel like a "bad mom". I feel like I need to do better tomorrow, yet I know that Noah is not keeping score. It is my own personal scoreboard that is haunting me. And, you know what, I actually don't think it is such a bad thing. I like that little reminder that there are days we blow the "blahs" right out of the ballpark and days where they get the best of us.
|The really unfortunate scene at our house at noon today. In all reality, he was really happy in that truck driving around.|
Who knows, maybe we'll even find that construction site some day. Maybe.